Week 8 - Amy Williams

My example from this week’s chapter has to do with wordiness. However, I found an example of a well-known book that actually has a substantial amount of wordiness. Since the book is written much like a letter or a diary, I think that has a lot to do with this chapter on style.

“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have had about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They’re quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They’re nice and all -- I’m not saying that -- but they’re also touchy as hell. Besides, I’m not going to tell you my whole goddam autobiography or anything. I’ll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me around last Christmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out here and take it easy. I mean that’s all I told D.B. about, and he’s my brother and all. He’s in Hollywood. That isn’t too far from this crumby place, and he comes over and visits me practically every week end.”

This is from the first page of Catcher in the Rye. Even though the textbook tells us to edit to remove wordiness, the wordiness of this particular type of writing seems to have a place. It makes the writing seem more conversational and realistic, as if it’s being told from a young man’s eyes. For example, the use of the word “really” and “probably”, as well as the speaker adding “and all” or “as hell” to the end of his sentences. The author is really giving us a feel for how the speaker would talk.