Week 4 Jess Bischoff

It is impressive how much a sentence can be improved by writing in active voice, and using strong action verbs. I often forget when I am writing about the position of my reader. I want my writing to be interesting, and maintain their attention. That means eliminating run-on sentences as well.

Most of what I learned in the reading was information that I had previously learned, and forgotten. It isn't everyday you have to distinguish between a transitive or intransitive verb, identifying whether the case is nominative, objective or possessive. Relearning all of these rules were helpful to apply to my other classes. I am in a writing and reporting class, and it is important to have concise, descriptive writing that gets straight to the point.


The editing mistake I encountered this week was on a menu at Bize Dessert Studio. Under each type of cake, a description is listed. The mistake I found was "are famous cakes," instead of what should have been "our famous cakes". In the same description, there is a second and third mistake. This whole sentence was, "Are famous cakes, created in their distinguish look, usually served at a private parties." I believe the adjective should be distinguished rather than distinguish. If they intended to use distinguish as "to notice", then she should have used it as a verb instead of an adjective. They should also omit the letter "a," because parties is plural and "a" would go with a singular noun.

I couldn't attach a photo of the menu, but I provided the link for anyone who would like to see. The mistakes were in the description of "High-Tea Cakes."
http://bizedessertstudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/BIZE-dessert-studio-Downloadable-Menu-Flyer-02-01-2016.pdf