Check it out.

SALT LAKE CITY - As the World Trade towers collapsed in 2001, Mark Mahan rushed into the streets, where ash and debris filled the air and the clothes of those around him.

http://fox13now.com/2016/09/11/utahn-who-worked-on-wall-street-during-911-says-attacks-made-him-leave-finance-to-become-a-doctor/

Doesn’t that description capture your attention? The words ‘rushed,’ ‘ash and debris filled the air,’ give us readers a vision. I can picture myself as Mark Mahan. I picture myself running through the streets of New York during the tragic event of the World Trade towers collapsing. Even using the words “World Trade towers” in the lead captures attention, since readers know exactly what happened to those buildings.

The leads that capture my attention are anecdotal leads, which is exactly what this one entails. Every time they are written, I read the article.  They tell a story revolving around one person, and include descriptions that pull readers in to read the rest of the story.

My editing mistake comes from a text message with my sister. I was attending a conference this week and she saved me a seat. I asked her if there were two seats available and she responded, “Yeah there is 2 by us.” The correct wording would be “There are two by us.” “Seats” are plural.